Learning from horses about conflict management.  Where does conflict come from?

It's all about communication.

It all starts with attitude.

• Win/win.
• Willing to change self.
• Care/concern.
• Have fun.
• Know you can learn from anyone, have an open mind.
• Value relationships more than the task.
• Protect dignity.
• Allow for curiosity.

Listening is Key.  (They will tell you what you need to know in order to be effective.)

• Let them be heard.
• Learn to read body language. (Be observant.)
• Give the time it takes.
• Set up environment for success.
• Don’t fake it! (Authenticity.)
• Timing is everything.
  • Don’t wait until problem is unmanageable.
  • Timing teaches horse when he has responded correctly.
  • Bad timing teaches bad habits, good timing teaches right behaviors.

How do you handle a difficult horse?

Know your own behaviors.

• Look in the mirror first (horses offer reflections).

Don’t wish the horse would change, or you had a different horse.

• Can’t change the horse, but can change how you react to the horse?

Ask yourself:

• What am I doing that may be causing negative behaviors?
• Am I giving the horse permission for the negative behaviors?
• Am I rewarding negative behaviors thus causing them to continue?

Put on you’re “A” Game!

• Always stay calm, cool and collected.
• Mental, emotional, physical fitness.
• Smile with appropriate responses.
• Set appropriate boundaries.
• Be as soft as possible but as firm as necessary.
• Be fair, consistent and honest.

Look for ways to motivate.

• Must be meaningful to recipient.
  • People – praise, recognition, material items.
  • Horses – safety, comfort, play, food.

Use persuasion not coercion.

• Force provides short-term gains (sometimes), and long-term losses (always).
• Encourage desirable behaviors.
• Make right things easy and wrong things difficult.